People Who Fascinate Me, Part Une

Yes, you heard me. "Part Une," 'cause I'm all metropolitan and citizen of the world 'n stuff.

First, let's remember that the word "fascinate" doesn't always necessarily carry a positive connotation. Dictionary dot com says: "to attract and hold attentively by a unique power; to transfix or deprive of the power of resistance, as through terror."

I'm envisioning a series of posts that will feature people who fascinate me for various and sundry reasons. Sometimes I am simultaneously repulsed and fascinated. That whole can't-look-away-from-a-car-accident mentality.

Today, I give you one of my favorite authors, who fits the bill using either part of the definition:

Stephen King

As someone who loves to write, who glories in reading a well-crafted sentence, who frequently escapes on the powerful wings of fiction – I adore Stephen King. Not everything he's written, for sure, but classic masterpieces like The Shining (I read it as an adult and couldn't sleep well for a week), Misery, It, Cujo…these and others will always make my list of favorite books. And years ago I picked up his book On Writing and found it wonderfully written and absolutely spot-on as a how-to manual for aspiring writers.

But let's face it. The man has GOT to be weird at some significant levels. If you've read his books, you know what I mean. He thinks up this stuff.

Okay, so here he looks nice enough. Friendly, like the guy who owns the small town bookshop where you browse for hours:

*bell rings on door*

"Mornin' Mr. King!"

"Hey there kids – c'mon in, just stocking the shelves…let me know if I can help y'all…" (because Stephen King would totally say y'all)

And then you walk down an aisle, turn quickly and see him peeking over the shelf at you…

"Hey kids…do you like clowns?"

And then there's this one.

A little odd, right? An attempt at an intellectual pose, perhaps? Pondering a career change as a body double for Randy Owen from the group Alabama?

But the larger question: what is he THINKING there? What gory, horrible, mind-shattering story just occurred to him, bringing about that faraway, slightly bemused expression?

"Then the clown will *POP* up in the GUTTER, for chrissakes…and he'll grab the boy's arm…and then his TEETH will get all pointed…yesssss….."

Which brings us to:

Are you SEEING this?

He can read your mind, you know. He knows what'll scare the bejeesus out of you and mess your mind up for LIFE.

And something else:

This man is married.

A woman sleeps next to him at night and has borne his children. Sure, the money's nice, but…

THINK about it.

I'll bet she sleeps in a garlic necklace with one eye open.

Oh, I'm kidding. (I think.)

I love ya, Mr. King. You've given me hours of entertainment, sleepless nights, and inspiration to do what I love – you're brilliant, funny, and strong, coming back from that horrible accident years ago. Bravo!

I admire you so much, I even named my son after you! *

*not really

I wish you years and years of productivity and quality. If you could write some stuff better than Under the Dome, that'd be grrreat.